“I know you did this on purpose. You agreed that you’d be at my event today, but you still couldn’t reach on time. You’re jealous of my success,” Roma was yelling at her husband, Yash.
Yash was utterly indifferent to Roma, and was busy fixing himself a drink while watching cricket on the television.
Roma’s frustration with Yash was rising. So was the volume of her voice. “He’s irresponsible, he’s jealous, he doesn’t care,” she fumed.
Such conflicts are becoming more and more common in modern marriages. And inevitable too because of the differences in values, expectations, cultural backgrounds, upbringings, life experiences, behaviors, and habits between the two partners. Not surprisingly, more and more couples are opting for holistic marriage counselling to repair the cracks in their marriage.
Ending a marriage is the easiest option, but not necessarily the right one. Especially if children are involved.
Here are 3 tips to resolve marital conflicts:
- Communicate: For any relationship to work, communication is the key. And marriage is no exception. Do not assume that your spouse is aware of your feelings because assumptions often lead to miscommunication and conflict. If you’re not happy with the specific behaviors of your spouse, speak out. Find a good time to talk when both of you are well-rested. Don’t try to resolve conflict when you or your spouse is already dealing with stress, is distracted, or is tired and hungry. Sit down, face each other, and make eye contact while talking. Avoid pointing fingers, instead be an active listener. If you’re finding it difficult to control your rage and frustration, consider seeking help from a certified holistic health counselor.
- Work on forgiveness: The key to staying happy in your marriage is practicing the act of forgiveness. Be quick to ask and grant forgiveness. However, forgiveness doesn’t come overnight. You need to practice it daily through small actions like admitting mistakes, taking responsibility, practicing honesty, etc. Forgiveness takes time and a lot of hard work. If you’re experiencing too much emotional crisis, free online therapy for anxiety and depression may help you find some solace.
- Seek help: The most important part of dealing with marital conflict is not winning a battle against your spouse but coming to an emotional resolution for the disagreement. It is the emotional resolve that will help you to move forward with your relationship. So if you’re still experiencing anger, hate, frustration, sadness, or depression even after the conflict is resolved, you need to dig down deep to understand the reason. If you’re feeling it too overwhelming to work on it yourself, free online depression counseling can also be helpful.
Key takeaway: Marital conflict is natural, but how you deal with it makes all the difference. The above tips can guide you to deal with conflicts in a better way. However, if you think your relationship is taking a toll on your emotional health, do not hesitate to seek marital counselling to understand the way forward.